I’ve always wondered why the world is so obsessed with women acting, thinking, behaving and living a certain way, while men seem to have far less restrictions. With changing times, I’d think these rules would change too but I don’t see any of that happening. So instead of putting up a fight and being termed a feminazi, I decided to accept these rules instead.They were after all, made for our good, weren’t they? Isn’t it every woman’s dream to be a smiling robot that follows instructions from half witted, self proclaimed rule makers? In fact, I decided to accept these rules so much, that I went ahead and made a rule book for women like me around the world, so we never miss out on these rules, that the world constantly checks on and goes back in time to update.
1. Women Belong in the Kitchen; because that’s where the fridge is and that’s where you’ll find the wine. With all the hard work you do dealing with subtle chauvinism everyday, you sure need more than a glass sometimes.
2. Don’t Wear Too Much Makeup; don’t use all of it. Leave some for the two faced society too. They need double the makeup for both their faces.
3. Don’t Laugh Out Loud; behind the backs of the ones who haven’t yet evolved with time, and expect you to give up your life and become stepford wives. Laugh at their faces instead, loud enough to break the glass walls of their fragile egos.
4. When You Go Out on a Date, Order Salad; for anyone who stares at you when you hog your pizza. They must be hungry.
5. Cover Yourself; with thick skin. You can’t throw a stone at every dog that barks, although that must not stop you from trying. But if you ever get tired of uninvited judgement and insecure comments, the thick skin will help you.
6. Get Married at the Earliest; to your dreams and and aspirations. Commit to them, and bring them to life. The world is yours.
7. Never Step Out of the House Late in the Night; step out early so you have more time to party until midnight or wee hours of the morning.
8. Don’t Mingle with Boys. Mingle with gentlemen instead, who’ll feed your mind and soul.
9. Don’t Act Smart. Be smart instead. You won’t have to act then. The world is in need of some smartness anyway, to balance out the stupidity hurled at you every now and then.
10. Stay Within Your Limits; speed limits that is, on the road. However if you do find someone telling you how women are supposed to act a certain way to please the society and follow their bizarre, outdated and absolutely insensible rules, feel free to cross that speed limit and run over them!