Sitting with that group of friends, laughing out loud. Drinks on the table, and music louder than our words. They laughed, and so did I, despite the fact, that the joke was on me. Again. Deep down, I wanted to just cuddle with my blanket, a book in hand and coffee by my side, yet here I was, surrounded by the cool ones, yet alone. The echo in the conversations, were a painful reminder of how far I had come, to a place I didn’t belong.
Waiting through the days, hoping for a miracle. Content with self doubts, befriended the monsters in my head. I stayed the same, and the days in the calendar, were the only things that changed. Hearing the wails of a conditioned mind, I wondered how far I had come, to a place I didn’t belong.
Good girls don’t speak up, when the society is at play. Traditions must speak louder than logic, or what will people say? Personal values, hold no weight, when the battle is against your principles, and the rules that the whole world lays. Whether they make sense, or they don’t, you can’t question them, no you won’t. A proud loud mind, wailing inside a silent being, the paradox screamed how far I had come, to a place I didn’t belong.
Surrounded by perfectionists, while trying hard to be one. The celebrations of imperfections, soon started to fade. Where does the race to be the best end, when the finish line lies within your own self? What perfection do you chase, when your flaws make you who you are? A happy imperfect soul, trapped in the race for perfection, stuck between the two, reminded me how far I had come, to a place I didn’t belong.
Trying hard to survive, with my dreams by my side, I tried, I tried a little harder. Some times I won, sometimes I didn’t. Some places got me down, while some got me to where I truly belong. I got through each day, one at a time. Some days I’m home, warm in the comfort of my heart, while some days I wander, to places I don’t belong. Yet, I’d have it no other way, for all that I am, and all that I will be, were all taught from places I belonged, and the places I didn’t.
How else would I appreciate the places I belong, if I hadn’t wandered to the places I didn’t?