Like it or not, toxic people do exist, and more often, they exist too close to us, right in our circles; it could be a friend, a colleague, a partner or a family member. Relationships that are supposed to nurture and build you, can sometimes do just the opposite, and bring you down instead.
Surprisingly, a lot of us put up with toxic relationships, because we don’t find a way out, or we don’t realize that we’re stuck in a toxic bind.
How do you recognize toxic people?
They’ll put you down. Toxic people, generally tend to put you down. Mean comments are often covered in humour.
They downplay your achievements. Relationships that truly support you, would be proud of your achievements no matter how small. Toxic people tend to downplay your achievements, to make sure you don’t feel as good as you do.
They’ll blame you for their own mistakes. Deep down, a toxic person is not okay with your happiness. Such people are often narcissist too, which is why they won’t just not admit their mistake, they may blame you for it too.
They control you. They like to have a hold over what you do and how you feel, that may not always be for your good.
They suck your mental energy. If you find yourself drained out mentally, trying too hard or just going through unpleasant emotions dealing with someone, chances are, they’re toxic.
They’ll create drama. Especially when you’re happy. This is their way of not just ruining your moment, but also grabbing your attention.
They give out negative vibes. No matter how how close the relationship is, too many negative things happen to you, or you just feel low and negative most times.
It’s not always easy to come to terms with the fact that you’re associated with a toxic person. However, it’s important to deal with such people, or they’ll eat into your happiness and peace of mind.
Confront them. Talk to them openly about how you feel. Most times the reaction will be a defensive one. They may even end up accusing you of being naive or mean, but you’ll have to stand your grounds and tell them the patterns you notice, how you feel and why you aren’t ok with the things they do. Typically you shouldn’t need an explanation to stand up for yourself.
If they truly care for you, they’ll change their ways.
Cut off ties. It’s not easy to cut off relationships, but it’s highly imperative sometimes. Any relationship that takes away your happiness on a constant basis, needs to be revalidated and cut off if need be. Despite a heart to heart talk and confrontation, if they aren’t willing to make changes, it’s time to cut ties with them.
Mental disconnect. Cutting off ties may not be possible sometimes, when the toxic person happens to be a colleague or a family member. You’re bound to work with them, run into them or stay with them. This is where mental disconnect comes in place. You create a mental shield around you, and don’t let any negativity from this person affect you. No matter what they do, say, or how they behave, you’ll simply not allow it to enter your space. Although difficult in the beginning, it’s a highly effective way of dealing with unavoidable toxicity.
Most importantly, don’t forget to look within yourself too. Ask yourself why you put up with such relationships in the first place, or why is it that you end up attracting such people.
There comes a time in life, when you got to make tough decisions, when you have to consciously evaluate the changes people bring in you. People around you have the power to shape or break you. You’re who you are, with years of effort, experiences, regrets, struggle, mistakes, strength and love. Treasure the person that you are. Don’t let someone else take that away from you. It’s the least you could do for the wonderful being that you are.